Bubonic Plague – Our Real Threat
In the 1400s the black death swept through Europe leaving a wake of dead in its path. In modern days people think that it is gone. But that is far from the truth. A lot of people are claiming that the deaths are due to swine flu or such, but our Cleverpork Central scientists have determined that the real threat is bubonic plague. This is our guide to how to survive the plague.
Georgian Man Sees Image of Pope in Toast
Pope Benedict XVI
Atlanta, GA
Not everyone gets a chance to order God with a side of bacon but early Saturday morning Georgian resident Tallard Bentz discovered a image of Pope Benedict XVI appear on a piece of toast. "I'm not even catholic", said a bewildard Bentz "I mean, I've been to church- Methodist I think? I didn't even see the Pope at first, I was about to put butter on the bread when my son pointed out the image".
Bentz's son, Rink, explained from prison that the toast was a 'sign from God'. Rink is in prison after attempting to burn more than 3,000 dollars worth whole wheat, white, pumpernickel, and sourdough breads upon a 'sacrificial alter' which consisted of a pile of sticks Rink brought to the store and a bottle of Bacardi 151 alcohol. He was wrestled down in the store by three shoppers, who Rink repeatedly told were "going to hell for allowing the devil's breads to tempt the minds of weak shoppers". Explained Rink from prision, "I know I'm young and jump to conclusions easily but to me, this is God telling humanity that we can even sin during breakfest. His holy light shins on Frans Seven Grain Bread and banishes all other yeast'ed devils to a fiery hell where they may toast for eternity. Seeing this sign it is up to me to make sure the breads of the fallen angle are lifted from this earth!".
Tallard Bentz was unaware of his son's decision to go and take from the earth all evil breads but he stands by Rink's actions, "He saw the fricken Pope, what else was he suppose to do?". When asked to comment on the image head Cardinal Camillo Ruini seemed unimpressed, "the only wholly bread is the body of Christ, everything else is not unholy-its just bread. Honestly, no one cares about the story of the father, the son, or the holly toast".
Livebloging the Flu!
This morning I wokeup at 8:30 feeling awful. I was achey, my mild cough had developed into a painful cough, and a had some slight chills. My temperature was mild when I first woke up, but by 10:30 it was becoming apparent that I was indeed sick. However, instead of think of this as a disadvantage I decided to share my experiences with all of you dear readers so you know exactly what to expect.
11:00 temp at 99.5 I'm borderline feverish now. Lying in bed listening to my chill station on Pandora.
11:19 oh no! Pandora went silent due to inactivity!
2:04 woke up for the first time since 11:30. Need some food I think time to call in some assistance.
2:23 I also really have to use the restroom. I'll go once David has me sign a suck tray form.
2:38 mmmmmmmmmmm chicken noodle soup. DUX must have known I was going to feel I'll and put it out just for me.
2:59 after half a bowl of soup and a quarter of am episode of flash foraward I am exhausted and am back in bed.
5:23 awake again. I go through an interesting cycle where I go to bed really cold and bundle up under the covers. Then a couple of hours later I heat up and need to unbundle. But not for too long.
8:54 I took some ibuprofen to help my achey-ness. I feel much better. Also ate a buch of pretzels. Tank you Rob's resident! Now I'm just craving a fruitbowl smoothie. Mmmmm. I think I was feeling ESP aweful due to having nearly no food in me. We'll see how the rest of the night goes!
Day Two
12:12 sorry for the lack of posts. I wad actually feeling better last night. Then this morning I felt awful. I think that the only reason this could be considered worse than Norovirus is the knowledge that I'll be here for annother day at least. Norovirus sucked more but only lasted 1 day.
Day Three
11:18 screw this
Day Four
9:41 woke up to no fever. I feel great, possibly the mist rested I've felt all year. Today Is going to suck though as I have one final day of quaruntine ahead of me.
Google Wave has Arrived at Cleverpork Central
I need people to let me know if the below wave is visible to anyone. A larger test group is always good right?
Well, turns out that it doesn't actually work yet. I am working on getting it to work, but it'll be a while.
xkcd Volume 0
Nearly a month ago I ordered xkcd Volume 0. This is a collection of AWESOME from one of my favorite webcomics ever, xkcd. To celebrate, the following is my unboxing and initial reactions
A Package?! for me?!
Every time a bell rings…
...a vegetarian gets his wings...
And by wings I mean this:
Bread - Pesto - Onions - Cheese - Bacon - Burger - Bacon - Cheese - Burger - Bread