Zoo Replaces Dead Polar Bears With Fakes
W
hen you have an issue with your polar bears dying why not replace them with fake bears. I mean that's what we did with my aunt. We replaced her with a fake bear. No one noticed.
Ok but seriously this brings up an important question. How many of those animals you see in the zoo have been made into anamatronics. Zoo Disney anyone?
Business Energy Tax Credit
Cleverpork Central is often a comedy site, but there are things that we believe strongly about and will bring to the forefront of conversation. Anything filed under "Serious" is not a joke, even if it seems counter to everything else on this site.
Recently, Chris Cunningham had to write a 1000 word essay on the business energy tax credit in Oregon. This essay was designed to be written like a blog post, so he felt it would be a good idea to just post it on his blog. What follows is the essay in it's entirety.
Giving incentives to companies who want to bring green energy solutions to Oregon is a great concept. However, there are quite a few problems with the Business Energy Tax Credit (BETC) that make it very inefficient. If the costs of the BETC are unable to be controlled, then the project should be removed.
The BETC is a tax credit that companies can apply for. There is a maximum of $10 million that can be given, but companies can split up their projects and ask for $10 million for each section. The rules designating what can count for the tax credit are very loose, allowing 98% of requests to be granted so far.
Googling Fights Dementia
Saving the world since 1996
In a recent study, scientists have found that googling stuff on the internet actually encourages blood flow and a healthy brain. This is yet another reason why I love Google, it is making people healthier.
Before we had a search-based internet, everyone would put in a specific site that they wanted to access which provided them a service. When Google came around they emphasized finding information instead of providing a service and radically changed the internet. Now Google is a verb. It doesn't matter what search engine you use, Google has likely affected how you perceive the internet. Beyond that, it has affected how I use all computers. I don't worry about organizing applications because I just a key combo on my keyboard and search for the application.
This constant searching apparently has benefits beyond making information and services easier to find. Every time you think about finding something new, or just surf the internet, you are constantly making small decisions and problem solve for solutions. Deciding how to phrase a search to return the best results requires some thought.
the study showed that using Google to find information stimulated the same parts of the brain, and in a similar way, as solving a sudoku puzzle or starting a new hobby. The difference here is that you are constantly finding NEW information. Every new search is just that, brand new. Doing sudoku puzzles for an hour a day to me would seem much more draining and would get boring much faster than googling things for and hour a day.
Moral of the story is that those Bing commercials asking what searching has done to us are absurd. Searching isn't a problem, it is a brain workout. By searching all the time we are keeping our brains healthy and fighting dementia.
Zombie Week ’09 Comes To An End
File image of Cleverpork Central founder Chris during a nasty bout of zombification
Zombie week on Cleverpork Central has Come to an end. We thank you all for your readership over these days. We hope that you all have enjoyed the experience as much as we have. Some of us might not have survived the ordeal (I haven't heard from Pat in days) but we will do anything to keep you all entertained.
Keep your eyes open in the future for more themed weeks. While zombies are very commonly used these days to boost popularity, our researchers are continually exploring new possibilities in hype generation. Until then, however, it is time to put the theme scheme back into it's storage bin.
Now we're off to party like it's the last party ever. Because it is, at least for most of us. Go hone your skills and live well!
To see all posts from Zombie Week, use the categories on the right or click here.
Found photo details electronics shopping in the late 1800s
Eager consumers gather for the midnight release of a new product called "the light bulb."
Cleverpork Central is proud to bring you a recently discovered photo of retail giant Best Buy's predecessor: Supreme Purchase.
According to documents attached to the photo, the oft-forgotten chain primarily sold telegraphs -- strange metal machines that allowed the transmission of what we might today call "text messages." Cell phone towers had terrible coverage back then, because they simply didn't exist.
Zombie Mathematics
Earlier this year a group of mathematician from Canada published a paper in the journal "Infectious Disease Modelling Research Progress" examining the ability to model a zombie apocalypse using current infectious disease models (with a few modifications). What they determined was that if zombies were to exist (without a cure or massive military action, which they also looked at) then the only outcome was everyone becoming a zombie. To use more technical terminology, the only stable equilibrium was all zombie. In their analysis they found this to be true with a virus (or whatever) that acted quickly, slowly and if they included quarantine of the infected/zombies as well. The only situations where it might be possible (according to their study) to survive a zombie apocalypse was if 1) there was a cure developed (although the world would be mostly zombies) or 2) if you had a group of survivors and were able to use the military to attempt to kill off every zombie (which I would have liked the authors to bulk up a little more).