Monthly Archives: December 2009

Happy New Year

Well dear readers of Cleverpork Central, it is the end of the year. Tomorrow a whole new one lies before us. Some people consider the new year to be like a new start to life and set their resolutions. So in that spirt here are a collection of Cleverpork Central’s New Years Resolutions: 1. Reveal […]

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Flaws In the Top Movie of 2009

Warning this article contains spoilers. If you have not seen Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus go to your local campy movie store and get a copy. or try to find it some how. It is a true masterpiece. Best if viewed with friends. As many of you who know some of us here at Cleverpork […]

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Carnegie to Morgan-You Look Like a Seal

Morgan, this is Andrew your friend and coorperate counterpart. For as long as I have known you, and gracious me it has been for some many years now, you have always had a healthy appitie for good food, good whiskey, and beautiful young women. And for years you have paid for the best chefs, dined […]

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Knight at the Musee

This week the louvre announced that it will be displaying The Dark Knight as possibly a permanent installation to the museums already massive collection. The Director of the Musée du Louvre had this to say “We put a lot of thought into it and found the movie to be quite simply a master piece.” The movie is […]

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Trilobite Reports: Evolution Going Great

According to a Trilobite interviewed by the Onion, evolution is going great. The trilobite stated that, “It’s a wonderful time to be alive,” and “Sulfurous gas seems to be bubbling up to the surface pretty good, and several single-cell organisms appear to be mutating at a rather steady pace. Also, just today, I developed the […]

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Missed Connections from History

It is always interesting to look back onto the past and see connections to our present time. Recently at the University of Cairo in Egypt a team of Anthropologists found a tablet in some foothills which allegedly carried a conversation between then Queen of Egypt Cleopatra and Cesar of the Roman Empire Julius. Though the […]

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Our New Molluscan Overlords

Recently, in Indonesia, Australian scientists discovered an octopus using tools. Many people consider Humans to have become a dominant species on the plannet because the early humans developed tools. This can only mean one thing. Octopuses are going to take over the world.

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Eagle Creek Trail

Yesterday, December 14th, Derek, Charlie, Aaron, and I went on a hike on the Eagle Creek trail in the Columbia Gorge. Below you’ll find a collection of photos that we took. It was one of the more dangerous hikes that we have taken, from falling rocks to slippery ice. There are sections where the path […]

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Winter Break Headquarters

  Well, finals are over for a large portion of the writers of Cleverpork Central. Now it is time for Winter Break. We made it safely back to Portland, and I made sure I took no time before setting up the Cleverpork Central Winter Break Headquarters. Our temporary headquarters are located in My family’s house […]

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Fist Full of Lies

Trenton, NJ Beloved secondary Muppet Swedish Chef announced today that he, and other Muppets, have been lip syncing their performances since the early days of the Muppet show. According to the Chef the Muppets, before they would go and perform, would be entered-via a hole in their back, by another actor who would then control […]

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