Trilobite Reports: Evolution Going Great

According to a Trilobite interviewed by the Onion, evolution is going great. The trilobite stated that, “It’s a wonderful time to be alive,” and “Sulfurous gas seems to be bubbling up to the surface pretty good, and several single-cell organisms appear to be mutating at a rather steady pace. Also, just today, I developed the ability to roll into a small protective shell in order to avoid predators.”

This is great, because it means that soon giant reptiles will be roaming the world and before too long little furry mammals will be running around. Soon enough primates will show up and procede to try and destroy the world. All in all, enough excitement for a planetary lifetime!

From The Onion

In all seriousness, this article is great because it presents solid scientific evidence in a nearly accurate manner. I solidly approve of the Onion’s work on this one.

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