Pork goes Disney, Day 1

I will be posting a journal of each day at the end of the day as a recap. You can also follow me on Twitter for more live updates. Pictures will come eventually.


Pork jumped. What was going on at this ungodly hour? His phone was playing a song but why? Was someone calling him? Is it actually time for work? Instinctually he rolled over and told his alarm to snooze.

“No. Disney.” He awoke with a start as his brain opened for business. He turned back to his phone, “what time is it?” The display lit up at his touch, showing clearly 3:20. “Heh, I haven’t woken up this early since I worked at Starbucks.”

Without letting the snooze finish, Pork deftly turned his alarm off and climbed out of bed, and with a groan started his vacation.

Luckily for present pork, past pork was smart and set out all the clothes for the day, so he didn’t need to worry about getting dressed. Past pork also did the packing and all that jazz, so after his shower, all pork had to do was wake up his father to drive him to the airport.

There was still a slight smell of scotch left with Pork’s dad, as He had gone to taste scotch with a friend the previous night. But he seemed coherent enough that Pork wasn’t worried about him. As his dad got dressed Pork went to load his bag in the car and pet one of the two house cats goodbye.

While petting Pepper, Pork thought about his bird, Archimedes. The poor bird will be locked up in his cage for a week. While Pork knew the bird will be fine, he couldn’t help but feel sad that he wouldn’t see his soulmate for a week. And having a bird as a soulmate means you can’t even call them.

But those feelings passed quickly as the excitement built. The car ride was uneventful. Pork drove to give his dad a bit to wake up. The entire way he was going through lists trying to figure out what exactly he forgot.

“I got my drivers license and a credit card. Those are the most important things in this modern age right?” He asked his dad. There was a grunt of agreement from the passenger seat, but the conversation didn’t really continue from there.

Now Pork hadn’t flown in years. So when he got to check in things were a bit different than in the past. Rather than chatting with an attendant, the check in process was totally self driven. He couldn’t tell whether that made it fast or the fact that it was 4 am made it fast, but check in took moments. There was no line at security, so that was painless.

But walking to the gate Pork found his first problem. He was walking past a charging station and read “max current 3.4 A” and he thought, “I wonder what amperage my phone charges at– Oh shit.” He had left his charger at home. “Well, I guess I’ll be getting a new charger somewhere now.”

He decided to stop worrying too much about it and have some breakfast. He stepped up to the laurelwood brewing’s airport location and saw they were serving breakfast of omelettes and such. “That sounds delicious!” He thought and grabbed a seat.


His eggs were buttery and delicious, the bacon was the perfect mix of crispy and meaty. Even the toast was excellent. As he finished his meal, he knew this vacation was starting off right.

The flights were uneventful. Pork spent most of his time playing his DS and listening to music. However upon arriving in Orlando, the magic began.

The first thing to really show how magical Disney can be is that Pork didn’t need to even think about his checked luggage. Instead he walked right past baggage claim, went to the Disney Magical Express station scanned his wrist band and got on a bus to his hotel. That was it. He was done. Technically he could have skipped the hotel completely and went straight to the park.

Instead he met his mother at the hotel, and together they hopped on a bus to the Magic Kingdom.

Pork rode many rides and met many exciting people, including Tinkerbell. However two interactions stuck with him for the evening.

First, while riding the Jungle Cruise, the firework show started. It wasn’t a big deal, and dint really interact with the jokes from our skipper. However, as we got off, another cast member just outside the gate said to another family, “if you look up there, you can see a bunch of wishes! Mine’s at the end. I have a big wish.”

That was hilarious. Pork and his mother laughed about that for the rest of the night.

The second big interaction was as they were walking out of the park. Now if you don’t know, there are photographers everywhere in Disney. They take your pictures, scan your wristband and you move on. But these photographers are just as personable and funny as everyone else in the park.

Pork’s mom saw one photographer taking pictures in front of Cinderella’s castle on their way out of the park. She decided that this was their opportunity for a photo. A few other families had already lined up to have their photos taken, so the two got in the line.

The family right in front of them was a mother, her daughter and her daughters boyfriend. The young couple was probably high school age. The mother stayed out of it at first, getting pictures of the teens, and the photographer was eating up that HS awkwardness. “Is it ok if they kiss?” He asked the mother, almost asking for the two kids to blush. The girl was so embarrassed at the prospect of kissing for a camera in front of her mother, but the photographer made it so comfortable with humor and tact that Pork was amazed. That photo will be a long time memory.

Pork and his mother were tired though and retired back to their room. Tomorrow was time for Disney’s Hollywood Studios!

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