Author Archives: Chris

Happy New Year

Well dear readers of Cleverpork Central, it is the end of the year. Tomorrow a whole new one lies before us. Some people consider the new year to be like a new start to life and set their resolutions. So in that spirt here are a collection of Cleverpork Central’s New Years Resolutions: 1. Reveal […]

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Flaws In the Top Movie of 2009

Warning this article contains spoilers. If you have not seen Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus go to your local campy movie store and get a copy. or try to find it some how. It is a true masterpiece. Best if viewed with friends. As many of you who know some of us here at Cleverpork […]

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Trilobite Reports: Evolution Going Great

According to a Trilobite interviewed by the Onion, evolution is going great. The trilobite stated that, “It’s a wonderful time to be alive,” and “Sulfurous gas seems to be bubbling up to the surface pretty good, and several single-cell organisms appear to be mutating at a rather steady pace. Also, just today, I developed the […]

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Our New Molluscan Overlords

Recently, in Indonesia, Australian scientists discovered an octopus using tools. Many people consider Humans to have become a dominant species on the plannet because the early humans developed tools. This can only mean one thing. Octopuses are going to take over the world.

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Eagle Creek Trail

Yesterday, December 14th, Derek, Charlie, Aaron, and I went on a hike on the Eagle Creek trail in the Columbia Gorge. Below you’ll find a collection of photos that we took. It was one of the more dangerous hikes that we have taken, from falling rocks to slippery ice. There are sections where the path […]

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Winter Break Headquarters

  Well, finals are over for a large portion of the writers of Cleverpork Central. Now it is time for Winter Break. We made it safely back to Portland, and I made sure I took no time before setting up the Cleverpork Central Winter Break Headquarters. Our temporary headquarters are located in My family’s house […]

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Falconry

Readers, while you are one of my top priorities, I also have other interests. One of those is birds. Recently I started toying with the idea of falconry as a way to keep some of the more amazing birds in the world, the hawks. It turns out that falconry is still a popular activity in […]

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The “Stoked” Epidemic

Normally, when a new article idea hits me, I get super stoked about it. I sit down and think up witty things to say and as soon as I post it I go onto Google Talk and *high-five* my friends. We track stats here at Cleverpork Central, and when I see a new search term […]

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Civil War 2009 Live Blog

Apologies to my readers, At around 17:30 all internet and cellular connections disappeared from my phone. It must have been incredibly over burdened. This continued through the game and now back in my room I am finally able to update. Stay tuned for some videos I took of the end I’ll post those here once they are live. […]

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Cleverpork Central 2009 Holiday Gift Guide

So as you all likely know, Christmas and other holidays-which-are-not-as-important-to-their-religions-as-Christmas-is-to-Christianity-but-are-named-so-we-all-feel-like-we-are-accepting are coming up. You may be confused about what to get that special someone for your holiday of choice, but never fear, Cleverpork Central is HERE for YOU. We’ve collected the TRUE best gifts of 2009 here in one convenient place to make your holiday shopping a cinch!

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