Category Archives: News

Hitler responds to the iPad

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Fried Computer

No, this is not a cooking article for a delicious robot treat (though that is a good idea…), this is an article about how my computer has gone from functioning to not over the weekend. Sunday something happened and I had to hard restart my computer (it was going hella slow) and it would not […]

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Kid Kills Raccoon, Trying to “Catch ’em All”

On Saturday an 11 year old boy, A. Kachum, killed a raccoon with a red and white painted rock, later he claimed that he was trying to expand his collection and “Catch ’em all.”

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Classes Start, Interupting Facebook Time

Throughout Eugene and many other college towns, loud collective groans emanated from various student housing situations as classes started, thus limiting the amount of time students can spend on Facebook. The change was expected according to the University of Oregon website, claiming the start of a “Winter Term” but many students are outraged. “With Spanish, Business […]

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Knight at the Musee

This week the louvre announced that it will be displaying The Dark Knight as possibly a permanent installation to the museums already massive collection. The Director of the Musée du Louvre had this to say “We put a lot of thought into it and found the movie to be quite simply a master piece.” The movie is […]

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Trilobite Reports: Evolution Going Great

According to a Trilobite interviewed by the Onion, evolution is going great. The trilobite stated that, “It’s a wonderful time to be alive,” and “Sulfurous gas seems to be bubbling up to the surface pretty good, and several single-cell organisms appear to be mutating at a rather steady pace. Also, just today, I developed the […]

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Missed Connections from History

It is always interesting to look back onto the past and see connections to our present time. Recently at the University of Cairo in Egypt a team of Anthropologists found a tablet in some foothills which allegedly carried a conversation between then Queen of Egypt Cleopatra and Cesar of the Roman Empire Julius. Though the […]

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Our New Molluscan Overlords

Recently, in Indonesia, Australian scientists discovered an octopus using tools. Many people consider Humans to have become a dominant species on the plannet because the early humans developed tools. This can only mean one thing. Octopuses are going to take over the world.

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Fist Full of Lies

Trenton, NJ Beloved secondary Muppet Swedish Chef announced today that he, and other Muppets, have been lip syncing their performances since the early days of the Muppet show. According to the Chef the Muppets, before they would go and perform, would be entered-via a hole in their back, by another actor who would then control […]

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The “Stoked” Epidemic

Normally, when a new article idea hits me, I get super stoked about it. I sit down and think up witty things to say and as soon as I post it I go onto Google Talk and *high-five* my friends. We track stats here at Cleverpork Central, and when I see a new search term […]

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