Cleverpork Olympic Coverage: Day 1
In honor of NBC's coverage of the Olympics, where "live" means 3 hours delayed, Cleverpork Central is covering the Olympics in a timely manner. We can't promise daily coverage, but we'll try to keep you informed on the important events at least!
Yesterday was the first day of the Olympics. This means both the Opening Ceremonies, and some preliminary ski jumping. We'll cover ski jumping more when the medal rounds come by, but today we'll take a look at the Opening Ceremony.
The most striking thing that people are talking about is the supposed failure of one of the lifts to lift the olympic torch. However, people are assuming that it was an error. I think that the Vancouver Olympic committee wanted to make a commentary on how not all people achieve their goals. They were demonstrating how "the man" could bring someone down and keep them from achieving success in life. Ultimately, I think this is a very daring move on Canada's part, as they could be considered "the man" by the Canadian people.
That's all for today, but come back tomorrow for the first medals of the games as well as day one of the longest sport in the games (hockey, which spans the whole length of the winter olympics) and Some of the most dangerous sports in the games.
A quick warning about Phantosmia
Has your sense of smell been off lately? Do you find yourself saying things like “I smell roses” when no roses are present? You may be suffering from a rare condition known as Phantosmia, a rare condition in which hallucinates smells. Phantosmia can be caused by head trauma or psychiatric illness, and is not to be confused with Pharosmia, a distortion of smells which are present. You can find out more information about Phantosmia here.
In all seriousness, if you do find yourself smelling things that aren’t there, consult a doctor. Congratulation’s to the Ducks in their win at the Civil war, even though I was rooting for OSU. It’s great to have an Oregon team going to the Rosebowl. The fact that both teams were contenders is a testament to the quality of the football programs in our state. Oh, and to any Duck fans whose sentiments after the game were along the lines of “Beavers Suck Ass” : I didn't know that winning by four points entitled you to be dick.
Civil War 2009 Live Blog
Apologies to my readers, At around 17:30 all internet and cellular connections disappeared from my phone. It must have been incredibly over burdened. This continued through the game and now back in my room I am finally able to update. Stay tuned for some videos I took of the end I'll post those here once they are live.
I Love My Ducks Civil War Version
Cleverpork Central is at the Civil War Football Game, supporting the Ducks. Don't expect frequent updates but I'll do my best. Until I get too excited.
17:05 band is on the sideline rockin' it for us. OSU's team came on the field and everyone booed and fliped them off. It was exciting.
17:09 don't worry everyone, Puddles is here, we haven't lost rights
17:10 Ducks on the field! Everyone goes crazy!
17:11 The guy who picks up the kickoff tee is on the field!
17:12 I think in the last 5 min I've heard our fight song about 4 times
17:14 the band was playing to us!
17:22 your faithful blogger was inches from being on the jumbo tron.
17:24 guy in a banana suit on jumbotron.
17:28 a girl got really close to unmentionable places while passing me.
US Soccer Gone Fowl
Chicago, IL
With national teams around the world fighting for spots in next years world cup, many coaches are beginning to take drastic measures to ensure success in the qualifying tournaments. In the US, National teams coach Steve Sampson announced a change to the teams roster that will now include two roosters, affectionately named Talons and Beakers the Soccer Star, who Sampson saw kicking a ball on the side of the road while driving through Fresno, CA, last weekend.
Though the birds are vastly undersized and unable to either comprehend verbal commands from the coach nor the rules and play of the game of soccer, coach Sampson is optimistic about the addition of the two fowls. "These roosters are made for soccer, case in point the talons. We don't have to buy 'em shoes or shin guards because nature has already bought them for us. They are completely ready to compete on a competitive level. They've been practicing with the rest of the guys for a couple weeks now and the coaching staff thinks really likes the progress they're making. Especially Beakers the Soccer Star who has really picked up his game defensively".
But some team members are reluctant of playing with poultry, when asked about the desision nearly the whole team has publicly come forward and questioned Sampson's reasoning behind the addition of the two roosters to the squad. Most vocal amongst the dissenters is forward Jozy Altidore, "They cant keep up! There fuckin' legs are too short, and that shit Sampson is feeding you about "improved defense" is nothing more than Beakers jumping on our backs with his talons and pecking our backs. Its annoying, and it's sure to get him a red card." When asked why, with so much dissent from his players, would Sampson push to put the roosters on the team the coach brought out two rooster sized US soccer jerseys and asked the room of reporters just how cute the two birds would look in them.
As cute as the birds will look in those tiny little jerseys the true test of the birds worth will come on the soccer field in international play.
Dreamcatcher
We here at Cleverpork Central love to honor truly amazing athletes. Like Charlie Beckers. But today I have discovered annother truly awesome feat of the human body in the form of the Dreamcatcher. This is not because if you hang it up above your bed it will stop all your nightmares and leave you only with dreams of puppies but instead because my mind was blown by the strength and skill of this man in this video. Check it out after the break.
Air Race Barcelona
The Red Bull Air Race. The ultimate sport for ultimate athletes. Starting at 6:20 PM on Saturday October 3rd, there will be a live stream of the event right here from Barcelona after the break.