I’m Back!
by Chris CunninghamMy computer is now restored to it's original greatness (thanks to the help of Mr. Pat Cunningham) and it is in fact much faster than it has been in the last...year maybe? Anyway, installed a new hard drive today, restored my old files and Im back on track. Perhaps I will blog some more in the coming week. I am going on a field trip to the Newport Aquarium, and it has been a long time since I've live blogged something, so keep your eyes peeled!
How To: Procrastinate When You Should Be Working On Your Thesis
by Chris CunninghamI should be working on my thesis. Specifically, my Thesis Prospectus. However, instead I am taking this time to educate you all on a few tips that will help you to procrastinate when a time comes that you all have a huge important paper that requires a lot of time, planning and effort.
1. Fill your evening with events
I have told people that I will attend events they are putting on. Planet Earth is playing at 7? I'll be there! Complex Government? I'll be there! because of this a significant portion of my night is booked with important engagements. This allows me to not feel guilty about wasting the little time between those events
2. Pick up a new hobby
I've never known how to use photoshop or illustrator, but I've been working on my skillz instead of writing a thesis. With this noble goal in mind, I can feel good about spending my time advancing my knowledge of a variety of topics. I am still awful with these programs, but that just means more time can be devoted to things.
3. Have friends who want to play video games with you
This one is harder unless you have friends willing. I am lucky enough to have just such friends. I am a firm believer that socialization is an important part of developing a well rounded person, so these video games with friends produce excellent opportunities.
4. Make a Blog
What better way to waste time then to write about wasting time? I say none. I'm here for that purpose and it seems to be working pretty well. I've now spent at least 20 minutes of potential thesis time on this post and that is quite an accomplishment I must say.
Happy New Year
by Chris Cunningham
Well dear readers of Cleverpork Central, it is the end of the year. Tomorrow a whole new one lies before us. Some people consider the new year to be like a new start to life and set their resolutions. So in that spirt here are a collection of Cleverpork Central's New Years Resolutions:
1. Reveal a brand new logo for our site
2. Redesign the site layout (we want to be a little more unique)
3. Keep you in touch with the REAL news
4. loose 20 pounds
We hope to have the site producing a little bit more than it has in the last couple of weeks, but part of our crew was in DC and part is working every day and part was being awesome and part (me) was sitting on their bum.
Carnegie to Morgan-You Look Like a Seal
by Derek Schmidt
Morgan, this is Andrew your friend and coorperate counterpart.
For as long as I have known you, and gracious me it has been for some many years now, you have always had a healthy appitie for good food, good whiskey, and beautiful young women. And for years you have paid for the best chefs, dined in the finist resturanunts, and shinffed at the best whiskeys around-yet for all your money and influence you have never been able to land that hot young bitty you have always longed for.
Until recently I have been totally stumped as to your problem at getting girls. JP and I have never had a problem rustling up some breezies, and even though Vanderbelt is catching for the other team (and I do mean cathching) he still has women throw themselves at him constantly. He has to litterally beat them off with a broom!
But like I said it was until recently that I had been stumped by what was keeping women away from you, but now that I know it I wonder why I never thought of it before. Maybe you know it? Maybe you looked in the mirror one day after reading a National Geographic about elaphent seals and where like "Oh shit, they look like me!" Well if you havent dont that you should take the time to do so becuse that ol' boy is your problem-you look like an adult male elephant seal.
No, your saying, that's ridiculous! Im very handsome, and I have a great personality. If your thinking that JP your an idiot, look at the pictures I sent you. Look at the similarities in both phenotype and in personality there are between you and the adult elephant seal. Look at the noses on the two of you-all bulbouse. Your nearly 2/3 nose JP, you've had to had notice that. Fucking look at the eyes JP. Both you and the seal display nothing but hostility and an egarness to dominate in your eyes. There is nothing playful, fun, emotional, kind, or really anything in those eyes that a women (or kind hearted sailor man) would find desierable. Your an evil, compeditive, and snide individual JP and Im not sure anyone can ever love you.
But if you want to lose that flower of yours, I suggest changing your personality or something. You have all the money and the power to make you very attractive to anyone, but you look like and act like an adult male elephant seal and even with all the money in the world no one if going to want to hit that.
Cheers,
AC
Eagle Creek Trail
by Chris Cunningham
The Cleverpork Central crew sets out
Yesterday, December 14th, Derek, Charlie, Aaron, and I went on a hike on the Eagle Creek trail in the Columbia Gorge. Below you'll find a collection of photos that we took. It was one of the more dangerous hikes that we have taken, from falling rocks to slippery ice. There are sections where the path is narrow and it is terrifying when it is the middle of summer. They have a cable to hold on to but at the narrowest part the ice went over the cable and was the slickest part of the narrow section. During the same portion of the trail rocks and ice would occasionally fall, hitting the trail with a loud sound. If any of them had hit us we might have been hurt, but none did thanks to expert timing.
All the danger was not without reward though. The frozen waterfalls were beautiful. I hadn't seen frozen waterfalls before and the entire canyon is lined with smaller waterfalls, all frozen. Punchbowl falls, our end-point, was not frozen but the whole river was lined with Ice. At punchbowl, there was a solid sheet we could go out and stand on while we took pictures. We were mostly alone out there, though two groups did go past us on our way back, and being alone was wonderful. For a very frequently traveled trail, getting to travel it without passing anyone is always a nice experience.
Winter Break Headquarters
by Chris Cunningham
Well, finals are over for a large portion of the writers of Cleverpork Central. Now it is time for Winter Break. We made it safely back to Portland, and I made sure I took no time before setting up the Cleverpork Central Winter Break Headquarters. Our temporary headquarters are located in My family's house adjacent to the Wiki Creek Field Station Below you'll find the description of the various components that make up our Winter Break Headquarters.
