Homo Kakapodians

The Kakapo, a critically endangered species of parrot with only 125 individuals left. This bird, the owl-parrot, is one of the few animals that can be described as “old-fashioned” and the people in the following video state that this is due to it’s “sideburns” and “old Victorian” face. However, what is truly impressive is it’s mate¬†preference. Please click the link below and watch the attached video then read on for an explanation of the impressive nature of this bird.

Kakapo Mating Ritual

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We here at Cleverpork Central love to honor truly amazing athletes. Like Charlie Beckers. But today I have discovered annother truly awesome feat of the human body in the form of the Dreamcatcher. This is not because if you hang it up above your bed it will stop all your nightmares and leave you only with dreams of puppies but instead because my mind was blown by the strength and skill of this man in this video. Check it out after the break. Read More »

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Mittens; March 2009-October 2009

cat Like actor Heath Ledger or actress musician Aaliyah, Mittens the cat died young and immensely talented. Those mourning Mittens death will not only miss the warmth and softness that Mittens gave to her family and friends every other day of her life, but Mittens is leaving the world as one of the most respected and talented back ally howlers in the Garden Home neighborhood of West Portland.

Mittens started howling from her first day out of her mothers womb, catching the eye and the ear of her first howling coach and world famous feline vocal coach Wiskers the cat. “Meow, Meeeeoooowwww” said Wiskers “Meeeeoooowwwww!” And he was right. The youngest cat ever to be invited to preform on the Fanno Creek trail Mittens blew away audiences with a tender and haunting bass that gave a glimpse into the soul of the troubled howler. Mr. Scruffles organizes the Fanno Creek trail howlings and witnessed nearly all of Mittens performances, “Purrrrrrr”.

Never knowing how to deal with the world around her, crushed by her genius, Mittens committed suicide on October 4th, 2009, throwing herself under a car backing out of a driveway. In one of her last interviews before her death Mittens was asked about the demons and darkness that she carried with her and how that pain helped to shape the entrancing sounds of her voice, saying “Yaaaoowwwllll!! Yaooowwwwlll!” May that next life treat you better Mittens, your memory will live forever.

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Tased in the bu**hole?

Lesson one…you can’t trust the system.

Lesson two…stay away from¬†Elijah Wood and Ryan Reynolds. They have tasers.

Lessons learned. Thank you Andy Samberg.

I threw it on the ground!

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Always With Honor

Local Portland Oregon design collective Always with Honor’s limited run Barn Owl shirt. A really nice shirt for only $20 and a portion of the money goes to the Audubon Society.

Really Like their stuff, the simple clean graphic style of everything.

2nd image is another personal favorite from their website, check them out.

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Domo 7-11 Invasion

Who doesn’t love this Japanese stop motion character. I will definitely be going to 7-11 to pick up my domo slurpee cup.

Link Here

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Mammals 2.0

As you all probably know, I am a fan of SCIENCE. Little did I know that science was getting so advanced that we already have mammals 2.0 out. I thought it was still in beta, but it was recently released.

Here is the link to view the scientific documentation.

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Ellen Questions Answered

Did you get $1,000?

No – Mike Smith did for taking our picture. We got a sweet appearance on Ellen.

Did it really only take Chris 4 throws?

Yes – Right before she introduces the Clarisonic you can hear Ellen say to my brother “wow, that was really good, I haven’t seen it so fast, that was like three” then as she starts talking you can see on the clip my brother try to respond. I was actually really surprised he did so well.

When did you find out you would be in the dunk tank?

About a 90 seconds before we were on camera. Just enough time to go stand down on the stage, introduce ourselves to Ellen, and get aligned for the cameras. I was kind of sad they cut out the part where we were deciding who went in the dunk tank and me stating that nether of us are that good at throwing.

Did you tell Ellen I love her?

Yes I told Ellen that you love her. Unfortunately it was on a survey we filled out before the show.

Did you get to change?

Sorta – They had a jumpsuit I could put on and I did – however I didn’t change my underwear so the hour ride to the airport was quite uncomfortable. Then I changed at the airport.

Did you get anything?

We got the Clarisonic and Gestures. We can also say we raised $10,000 dollars for Ellen for the Cure – As I was exiting the dunk tank Andy said to me “Quickest way to make $10,000” I was a little confused until I remembers it was for the Cure.

How long were you in LA?

About 20 hours – Basically enough time to go from the airport to the hotel, sleep, go eat lunch, and go to the show.

If you have more questions post them in the comments.

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Ellen Day Two

Sheretin ViewAfter a 2:00 AM bed time last night, We had some of our blinds open and we’re up at 8:30 this morning. We’re a bit fatigued, but ready for the excitement of today! Our plan is to (hopefully get some coffee) go to Universal City Walk and hang out for a bit then we’ll be picked up by a car and taken to the studio. Once the show is done, we’re off to the airport and we’ll be there until our flight. We’ll likely be home around midnight tonight!

Hit the break for today’s live blog!

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Ellen Day One

Yesterday I was stunned by Pat calling me and telling me he needed me. I ran downstairs to see Him and annother person, Mike, running up to me. Mike held up a photo and said, “we need to recreate this”

Next thing I know, I am kneeling outside on wet pavement recreating a photo.

The photo that started it all

Further, that evening I was informed that I will now be flying down to LA to see Ellen. Because we here at Cleverpork Central are here for you, dear readers, I will be attempting to live blog as much of this experience as possible. Stay tuned right here for the updates!

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